Mama and Papa Shorkey welcomed their fourth (and final) addition to the Shorkey troupe on July 15, 19-eighty- …COUGH COUGH, CHOKE, CHOKE, ahem ahem.

I already had two brothers so the news of a baby sister was pretty awesome.

I envisioned a little playmate (and slave) for all my girly games. I didn’t think about what the future would hold. There were many years of sharing a room – Bobby Brown posters on my side, “My Little Pony” on hers’. I would also have to look forward to an annoying, little voice that would interrupt my phone calls with teenage crushes.

As she got older, she actually got more annoying. Our Dad always said she should be in sales, because even as a kid, she was incredibly persuasive. At 15, she persuaded me (and by persuaded, I mean, annoyed the shit out of me until I finally caved) into giving her and her friends some pot.

While it was the tiniest joint in weed history, it led to angry parents, an exchange of phone calls, and ended with our Dad ‘tearing me a new one’ one early Saturday morning.

She definitely got the better end of this “sister deal”. I was her roommate for her first apartment. I got her a job at the local dollar store. I cleaned up when her inexperienced, drunken ass, puked all down the side of our mother’s car.

I even agreed to go on a double date with her so she would feel more comfortable. What a treat that was. “My” guy was a real winner. These high-rollers treated their vegetarian dates to a dinner at “Swiss Chalet” where they proceeded to make us watch their disgusting eating habits: SUCKING gravy off pieces of chicken while mumbling the word “beautiful” under their breath. I still have nightmares.

But hey, a big sister is always there for her little sister. Big sister is an important gig and I took my role very seriously. It was important to me that Sam grow into a self-respecting, confident, young woman.

And seeing as how she parades around on stage with her (overly tanned) ass hanging out, clearly, I was not that influential…

We were always close and remained so even after she moved to Vancouver.

I would visit her semi-regularly and we’d have some good ol’ fashioned sisterly fun, but you know how it is when you grow up. Things change. Lives become different. I had a baby. So, the trips to Van stopped. I would see Sam at Christmas etc, but it wasn’t quite the same.

Then, for some crazy reason, she moved back to Ottawa. Fortunately, she was so frigging bored, she was able to focus 100% on her Jacked on the Beanstalk vegan coaching business and even hired a super fantastic assistant…ME!

It’s kind of funny how things can turn around. I got her her first job and now she has hired me to work for her.

When I first started working for my sister, I really didn’t understand what she even did. I thought I’d be dealing with a bunch of insecure women with self-esteem issues. I never realized that Sam actually changes people’s lives. She inspires and empowers women.

She helps them feel their best inside and out. It’s pretty cool being a part of that. And seeing your little sister be that person. Hell, she inspires me. Through all the troubles with my hip and feeling down, she has been there supporting me and encouraging me, training me, and helping me get my body feeling strong and useful again.

Sam is incredibly disciplined, strives for the best, and is the most ambitious woman I know. I am truly is awe of her drive.

I am very proud of my little sister. As a child, Sam was not very independent. It’s pretty cool how she has grown into this self-made, self-sufficient, successful, powerhouse of a business woman.

It is nice to have my sister back and I’m proud to be a part of Team #JackedontheBeanstalk. I had almost forgotten how much fun all the bitching, and laughing, and yelling is. You never know where her next adventure will take her. So, for now, I plan to enjoy the JackedontheBeanstalk chapter.

Happy Birthday, little Sammy!

By Sarah Shorkey aka Sam’s sister and support aka The Lowly Vegetarian