Perfectly Prep-Friendly Faux Egg Salad

Perfectly Prep-Friendly Faux Egg Salad

Allow me to just begin this recipe post by stating that a) I frickin’ LOVE when my clients submit recipes that are based around the macros and food options I’ve provided on their vegan meal plans. And b) despite the fact that my “faux egg salad” creation isn’t exactly the most delicious-looking dish, let us at least acknowledge that my recent purchase of a very expensive camera has really kicked my food photography skills up a notch!

Okay enough gloating. But I gotta justify that $800 camera purchase somehow! And seriously, look at the sharpness of that carrot! You are KILLIN’ IT, SHORKEY! Watch out, Food & Wine Magazine! I’m comin’ after you real soon!

ANYWAY… Huge props to the lovely Sylvia D. who’s been kicking ass with her “Jacked on the Beanstalk” diet and exercise programs. And huge thanks for her providing us with this super easy, super healthy and super high-protein “vegan egg salad” recipe that I know all you other clients and vegan bodybuilders in the depths of competition prep will greatly appreciate too.

prep friendly chickpea faux egg salad for vegan bodybuilders and vegan bikini competitors

And obviously I have to throw another award-winning food photo into this post for additional bragging rights! Are you impressed yet?

Alright, here is the recipe! And for the record, I added A LOT more celery than Sylvia called for because I’m all about that “volume eating” and celery is basically a free food and adds some nice texture.

Here ’tis:

Perfectly Prep-Friendly Faux Egg Salad


15 oz. can of organic chickpeas (or garbanzo beans if that’s what you call ’em)
2 green onions, chopped (I used half of a small white onion and it worked well)
3 stalks of celery, diced finely
1 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil (Sylvia apparently used vegan mayo but let it be known that I did NOT okay that shizz on her meal plan!)
2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard or grainy mustard of your choice
1 tsp. paprika (I definitely added a good Tbsp. because I love me some spice)
Pinch of sea salt


Drain and rinse your chickpeas then chop ’em up in your trusty food processor. You can also put the celery and onion into your food processor if you’re lazy like me and don’t feel like chopping or suck at chopping.

Dump chickpea, onion and celery mixture into a medium-sized bowl. Add remaining ingredients (olive oil + seasonings) and mix well. Refrigerate as needed and enjoy on its’ own, with fresh veggies or whatever crackers/bread you like if you’re committing carbicide. 😉

chickpea faux egg salad

One more pic for good measure… I used the flash on this one though. Not really feeling it as much though. Thoughts, feelings, suggestions? Does anyone even read this far down my recipe posts?

Happy cooking!

-Sam Shorkey, Jacked on the Beanstalk

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  • Miriam McCaleb: November 12, 2019

    This is an awesome recipe, thanks for passing it along, Sam. It’s easy to make, and totally delicious whether on its own or as part of a selection of goodies. One of my hobbies is sneakily loading the plates of omnivores with vegan food. This recipe is an excellent option for such stealth missions! Duly bookmarked. YUM!

  • glasses: February 01, 2018

    Great article, love your sharing so much, thank you!

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