The Lowly Vegetarian: Hobbling Your Best Foot Forward

The Lowly Vegetarian: Hobbling Your Best Foot Forward

orthopedic shoes

By Sarah Shorkey (Sam’s little big sis) 🙂

We’ve all had our fair share of injuries that can throw off our game. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, life just nails you with a good ol’ fashioned kick in the junk.

Six months ago, I was told I need a hip replacement. Right now you might be thinking, “exactly how OLD is your sister, Sam?!!” No, I am not a senior citizen. I just have the hip of one, apparently.

Based on the amount of pain that I was in, I figured it was something fairly serious, but nothing a little physiotherapy couldn’t fix. Boy, was I wrong! The news was a little hard to take and STILL is.

Robaxacet GuyWhat is most frustrating is having a body that cannot do the things I want to do or used to be able to do. It is the range of motion (or lack thereof) that drives me mental. I feel like that poor, little wooden bastard from those pain med commercials.

Despite my limitations, turning into a lazy turd wallowing in self-pity is not an option. Don’t get me wrong, I have my “down” days and sometimes, I just wish I could break free from this shitty body and just run (like a young Forrest Gump busting through his metal braces – RUUN, FOREST, RUUUNNN!!)

But sadly, I won’t be doing any running any time soon which is most devastating to me. I loved running.

It is a struggle to find exercises that I can actually do, and my “workout” routine is pretty pathetic at this point, but I am determined to keep pushing. I don’t take defeat easily and I think it’s pretty important to keep the rest of my body “working.” The stronger I am, the less pressure there is on my hip and the easier it will be for me to recover from surgery (whenever that is.)

do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do

For the past few months, I’ve been trying to decide between pain and surgery. It seems like an obvious choice, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. First off, I wouldn’t be able to pick up my one-year-old for SIX WEEKS of the THREE MONTH recovery period. Anyone with kids knows that is virtually impossible. 🙁

The other kicker? These metal hips have a lifespan of 15-20 years. At my age, I will need a second one and probably a third. The success rate is rather low the second time around. So, it is not an easy decision.

Fortunately, there was a (surprise) third option: an ultrasound-guided needle that injects some “goo” to mimic the naturally-occurring lubricant that surrounds my hip joint. It may have not been the miracle cure I was hoping for, but it has allowed me to lead a somewhat normal life. For example, I used to have this very sexy “did-that-girl-shit-her-pants?” kind of walk. Now, I’ve got more of an Igor thing going on.

Walking like Igor

Needless to say, I have managed to keep my sense of humour because that’s what we Shorkeys do! And at the very least I have learned a valuable lesson that I will now share with all of you.

This experience has taught me that (sadly) I am not the superhero I thought I was. I am not invincible. Injury or illness can strike any one of us at any time and take away even the simplest of things. The body is an amazing vehicle and should not be taken for granted.

So, please, friends… **sniff, sniff** Go out there and run for me! Feel the wind in your hair and the power of your body as it propels you forward.

Cue: Bob Seger’s “Against the Wind!”


sarah shorkey

-The Lowly Vegetarian aka Sarah Shorkey
(Sam got the body, I got the face.) 😉


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